Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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