Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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