I think my vagina is haunted
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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