Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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