i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
