we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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