I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
