Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
