OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
