remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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