Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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