Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
