I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You can't motorboat a personality
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love having hate sex.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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