You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
