i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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