I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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