Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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