Jerry, you need to find god
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Dignity is for republicans.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
