You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
