I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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