yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
