that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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