so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
