Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
