I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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