How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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