Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
