Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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