Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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