How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
