Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
