Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
