i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
