So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
