BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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