Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
