I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
