I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
