I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just want to make out with him forever
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
