i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sorry about my life...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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