Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it hurts more in the daytime
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
