I want to stick my p in your. b.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
