He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
