i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
