You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
