I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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