we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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