please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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