Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
