I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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