I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
