she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
