the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
