just come out here and I will go home with you...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
